Some Days It's Just Easier to Look Down

I hear voices and I see things sometimes. Not all the time, but sometimes. the things i see are just beyond my peripheral vision, so i cant quite catch it; the things i hear are just whispers or voices from far away - like someone yelling my name, but there is no one around. Like the wind speaking to me on a breeze-less day.

When i was in high-school, a girl came to my pysch class to talk about her bi-polar-ness and how at her lowest point, she was convinced she was the queen and that people were coming after her. It made me super conscious of the craziness that was in my head. We also learned that psych students tend to diagnose themselves with every disease and mental illness they learn about. i thought i was the exception, having know for a few years that i am depressed and at times suicidal.

now that i am older i am very careful about how i react to the illusions my mind creates. i know not to get scared of the cockroach i thought i saw, because in reality, there was no cockroach. i know not to turn around when i think i hear my name being called, because in reality, the street is empty, and i am the only one around. i know that the person taking photos along the seawall is not stalking me, and that the crow that was eyeing me as i walked from my house to the ferry is not the same one that is spying on me as i walk through the front door at work. I know i am not crazy. i also know i am not 100% all there. but i can function and hide most of the madness that goes on. and i think that's all that matters.