the harder we fall...

i am coming up to a major fork in my road of life soon. my contract for work is up at the end of october. no guarantees of another position, or an extension. im not scared. i *should* be able to find something else within the company. (yeah for networking (or begging (or greasing someones palm))) but do i really want to stay? its tuff to decide. the benefits and perks are super awesome. the people are decent. its really close to my home, food, & transit. if i can get into the department i want, then things will be wicked cool. the negatives are things i shouldnt go into. i dont want it to bite me in the ass. you never know who might stumble across my words... lets just say i got screwed by HR and let down by my former manager. no ill though. i am over it.
with all the bs happening in our apartment building ry and i are looking to move somewhere else. i refuse to move to the burbs. commuting = fiery death to me. i dont trust it to get me where i need to go on time, and refuse to have to wake up earlier so i can catch the bus before the one i actually need to catch, just so i can ensure that i actually do get to work on time. the rental rates in our current (and super awesome) neighbourhood are nearing the top of feasible affordability budget (is that even a real thing?). i am convinced rental rates will go even higher after the olympics are over. boo effing hoo. so we are thinking of moving to another part of the province. closer to ry's family and friends.
where he grew up.
where he feels at home.
where everything shuts down at 6pm.
where it snows in the winter (yeah! <- not sarcastic) and has uber hot summers (also yeah with no sarcasm).
where we will need two vehicles, cause its not a pedistrian friendly city.
where i will be far away (4 hours) from my family and friends.
where i only know a handful of people.
where living expenses are not as high as vancouver, but are getting up there.
where he wants to raise a family.
where we can get a dog, and keep our kittehs w/o fear of being caught and evicted.
where we can start a new chapter.
its a big change i am not sure i am ready for.
i am not sure i am ready to give up the 5 years of stability and good things i have at my work (assuming i get another job with this company)
to move far away from my parents.
to start a family and not have my mom there to support me.
to live in a city that has mediocre shopping, rarely gets the 'good concerts', has no real buzz like vancouver does.
change is tough. blerg.
to throw another wrench into the works, ry has been "temporarily" laid off because there is no work for his company right now (he's in construction). his previous lay-off lasted 4 months. this time its indefinite. which is effing scary. we can still pay the bills, and buy groceries (uhh, i mean order pizza hut twice a week), but we're trying to save for a wedding. a wedding we had hoped to pay for without going into mass amounts of debt. a wedding that is 6 months and 11 days away.
blerg. i know we'll be fine. i know things will work out. its just the last thing we need on our plate right now. its weird. all my married friends tell me how stressful planning a wedding is, and how much relief it is once its over. for me that's not the case. its all the other shit happening that is adding stress to my shoulders. the wedding is the least of my worries. for now...

but today is a new day. and (hopefully) things can only go up from here.
lets end on a funny note, shall we?

what is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree, it could kill you?

a pool table.