Thursday, July 15, 2010

home alone

i am alone for the next two weeks. ry is gone and i am paranoid of someone breaking in and attacking me. we keep a metal bar near the front door for such attacks, but i have also set up a series of alarms to alert me should someone try to sneak in when i am asleep. i would like to elaborate, but fear that it may backfire.... oh what the hell. i have put containers of pennies on all the window-sills. if someone tries to intrude, the pennies will fall and wake me up. i will have 3 seconds to get to the bar and beat the fuck out of the burglar. i have stacked a bunch of noisy items at the front door as a similar alarm. both cats are also on full alert. they understand. they know what to do. enzo is an attacker. she will go for the face. amos will go for a hug. bless his heart.
i also have set up a little device at my front door so i know if anyone has been in the apartment or not. a busted down front door would also be a clue, but i dont trust the building management, so you never know.
i have to stop reading the Stieg Larrson series. i am getting too many (good?) ideas.
the highlights so far of my 'single' life:
  • having the queen-size bed all to myself
  • always getting to choose the channel (not much a change from real life)
  • no judgement from the household if i want to eat a spoonful of icing from the can, 2 pancakes, and a couple of slices of cheese for dinner

1 comment:

Hillary said...

I stayed in a hotel in Cambridge once that was more of an old mansion converted into a "hotel." It was nice but the front desk guy was super creepy (serial killer eyes) and the door on my room was flimsy. I stacked everything in the room (books, lamp, toiletries, bathroom mirror) in front of the door that night so the serial killer front desk guy would make a lot of noise if he broke into my room. Which didn't happen, of course. I was just paranoid.